Feeling Good...

especially for a Monday.

I was not feeling good Sunday morning, after a super-fun night out with a couple of our favorite couples.

I feel like this picture pretty accurately sums up Evan and I's friendship. I act like a weirdo and he judges me. I'm ok with it. 

By the way, hangovers suck. But if you want to play you've got to pay. I don't even feel like I drank that much, especially compared to how many I'd pound in an evening in the past...and the fact that I was shaking my booty a lot of the night. But eating clean will do that to you.

We spent most of the night at Captain Hiram's. We ran into even more cool people than the ones we brought with us. The band, 60 Watt Sun was playing a lot of 80s hair metal which was a hoot. And the thing was, they were really good. Looootta creepers out Saturday night, though. I felt like a groupie at  a Motley Crue concert circa 1985. Of course, I never actually was a groupie, nor ever saw them in concert back then because I was 12 and that would be weird. Though probably not unheard of.

Moving on....

Sunday afternoon, one of the Crossfitting couples hosted a Paleo Potluck Picnic at their amazeballs home on the Indian River. Seriously. You never realize how ghetto you are until you go into a house like that. It was so nice to get our nom on at a potluck without having to second guess or ask what was in stuff. The food was super-yummy and the camaraderie wonderful as always. I made the Chocolate Chili from Well Fed, which was a hit. No surprise there. You don't like that Chocolate Chili you need to have your taste buds examined.

I also did something productive this weekend too! I know, right? I got my Cyber Punk head piece completed, made a good go at Rose's gun for our Doctor Who cosplay and started my Cyber Punk Hand Cannon. The gun just needs a strap, but the Hand Cannon still needs lots of work. Dave made the handle for the inside, and I painted it, but that is as far as I've gotten. I need to run by the Auto Parts store after Crossfit this week and see if I can pick the LED lights I'd like to add to it. Dave also did a little work too for his Cyperpunk costume. I was afraid his was going to be really boring, and more just an accessory to me, but he's building some silver-hose-thingees that are going to be pretty cool I think. Pics when everything is completed.

Speaking of all that, the panels have been announced for Megacon. There are several cosplay panels that sound interesting, and I'd really like to go to the Wil Wheaton Q&A. We'll definitely hit the big Villian Party at the Rosen next door. It's rare that we get to go to a big city club, especially one with dancing girls, and themed costumes and decor, etc.

Hey honey! I hear they even got that moonshine what come in dem fancy brown bottles and all! Aaaand an indoor outhouse!

Seriously though, the Arkham Nights party last year was pretty impressive, stylistically speaking. I'd like to wear my Cyberpunk to that party, but I'm afraid Dave's going to want to live in his Capt Jack costume. I'm going to be beating the fangirls off with a stick, I just know it.

This is the part of Capt.  Jack that Dave keeps forgetting about. Oh please, oh please let there be some gay, fanboys there. 

Whole 30 Wrap-Up

Well, that wasn't so bad was it? No. No, it wasn't. Ok, fine it was a challenge at times, but as I've already mentioned, having Dave do it with me made all the difference in the world.

So because I am lazy and also busy, I present to you my post-Whole30 thoughts and feelings in bullet form.

** Weight/Measurements
No, they're not the most important outcome, but everyone always wants to know so here you go:
Dave - Lost 8 lbs and 5.25 total inches. You can really see a difference on him, no doubt.
Me - I gained .6 lbs and lost 4.25 inches. Three of those supposedly from my thighs. I did not factor in      my chest measurements because I am pretty sure the originals were written down wrong. There's no way my chest was 34.25 back in January, my bras are 36 or 38s.

In the interest of full disclosure we are "counting" our weights and measurements from when the Crossfit   Paleo Challenge started on 1/14, and not Day 1 of the Whole30. Day 1 of the Whole 30 started the day after the Austin trip, wherein I was up 10 flippin' pounds from 1/14. So I suppose if I wanted to I could say I lost 9lbs on the Whole30, but I just don't think that is honest.

* * Palate Changes
We definitely adjusted our palate. Our sensitivity to sweet stuff is much, much more acute. I find myself now looking longingly at the baked goods (most of the time) not out of an actual craving but out of nostalgia, if that makes any sense. I made Paleo-friendly Bakies (cookie-type thing) last night because I could, and they were "meh." I think it certainly helped that I made them with the 86% chocolate, in that it satisfied my desire for something I hadn't had in awhile, but was not sweet enough to awaken the Sugar Dragon. Score! 

I've been reading a lot lately about artificial sweeteners and I'm convinced if I have to have a sugar it's better to just have the real stuff. That said, on the Crossfit Paleo Challenge we're still on, we can't have any real sugar, so just as an experiment I thought I'd try a packet of Stevia in my coffee. I ended up throwing it out. SO GROSS. Which is kinda awesome.

                              

This was me.

Incidentally this drawing is from Natalie Dee. I found a ton of her pics with no credit given to her. Not cool other bloggers, not cool.

** The Diet Coke Dragon Has Been Slayed!
A year ago I cut down from 4-6 a day to 1-2. But even while otherwise doing fairly strict Primal Blueprint since August, I still had 1-2 Diet Cokes a day and Dave the same. I have not had one since 1/14 when the Crossfit Paleo Challenge started, even while in Austin I just had water, coffee...and uh, beer. Dave has not had any since day one of the Whole30. This is probably the most important result of both the Whole30 and Paleo Challenge, quite frankly.

I find this somewhat ironic this road runs through Hazleton, PA. Where I have lots of family whom I don't necessarily associate with "Can Do" - God love'em.

** We can do anything!
Ok, we already had pretty good self-esteem...particularly "couple" self-esteem, if there is such a thing. Parenting, life in general, but specifically our more recent experiences, like the Adventure Races have proven what we have always felt. We're a really kick-ass team. However, when it came to food/drink we weren't always as cohesive and/or supportive as we could be, but as I alluded to in previous posts, this was the first time we had ever really been on the same plan. With our energy and commitment focused on the same goals we were unstoppable. We camped twice with folks who were eating and drinking bad things all around us, we dealt with our crazy-ass schedules and life in general without a single misstep. Sometimes I cooked, sometime he did, sometimes we ate weird meals, and sometimes we had wonderful ones, but we did whatever it took to meet the challenge. And I am super proud of us for it.

What did I not like about the Whole30? Well, for me it made me extremely uncomfortable not to be able to track my calories/carbs or weigh myself daily. However, the Whole30 is about self-discovery and I totally understand why they don't want you to do that. For someone without a history of disordered eating or maybe a lesser case than mine, I can see how it could really help your relationship with food. But for a broken brain like mine, I was getting to a point where my brain was wanting to binge, and working within the Whole30 parameters it was telling me, "Go ahead, overeat those nuts or almond butter, etc. It's not a cheat if it's an approved food!" Yeah, not good. My Crossfit Coach, like most Paleo-folk without eating disorders, seemed rather surprised that I could overeat even on the Whole30. But a messed-up brain will find a way. So now that it's over and I am just on the Crossfit Paleo Challenge I am going to be using MyFitnessPal again. I know they'd rather you didn't. But I have to do what I know is right for me. I'm not restricting my calories big time or anything, I get that. But I need that visual reminder of what I have been putting in my mouth to keep me on the straight and narrow, because my brain does not.

That said, I am really glad we did it. Dave wasn't as strict as I was pre-Whole30, but now that he has been, and has been getting such great results he is jazzed to keep it up. He's definitely gotten the energy boost and clearer head so many who do the Whole30 talk about. I don't think I felt much of a difference in that regard because I was already eating extremely clean, especially Monday-Friday. The only major change for me was giving up the sweeteners and Diet Coke...and alcohol on the weekends.

I definitely think we'll bring it back down to more Primal Blueprint levels, especially when the Crossfit Paleo Challenge is done, but I think we are both super-committed now to a true 24/7 -  80/20 or better. As opposed to the past, wherein the weekends were more 50/50.

So dems the highlights. As I get further out I'm sure I'll have more thoughts on the matter, but for now....

Day 30!!!!!

I can't believe we're on the last day! I'm crazy-banana-pants-busy today but just wanted to drop in and say, "Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!"

Also, the Well Fed cookbook is amaze-balls, you should buy it.

And you should know that everyone at Treasure Coast Crossfit rocks.

And that I love my friends and can't wait to get silly with some of them this weekend.

But mostly you should focus on the fact that my Whole30 is 9.5 hours away from being completed.

"But shaking-it is all I know."

In the home stretch!

I can't believe we are in the last two days of the Whole 30. It's been alternately a piece of cake and a total pain in the ass. But it has proven beyond a shadow of a doubt just how determined we can be, and how much easier challenges are met when we work together. I highly doubt either of us could have done this if the other hadn't been on board as well.

To further illustrate the challenges we faced, we spent a good chunk of the weekend at Daytona International Speedway for the beginnings of Speed Week. We arrived Friday evening and stayed through the end of the Sprint Unlimited (formerly knowns as the Bud Shoot-Out - it's like an All Star NASCAR race) late Saturday night. We camped in the infield which was a really great experience. The next day we splurged for the Fan Zone tickets that got us up close to all the drivers and garages. Super cool for even the casual fans like ourselves.

Holden and I are Tony Stewart fans, but somehow I feel as if I have part ownership in Montoya's car as well. (He's the first one in line to go to practice in this pic)

Did I mention it was rather cold? For Florida anyways. Most of our group didn't even stay for the final race because of the cold. It was only in the 40s, but unfortunately most folks aren't prepared for it. For once, Dave was glad for all my overpacking of coats, scarves, hats and blankets so we were comfortable throughout.

The Shoot-out, sorry "Sprint Unlimited", was really exciting. Holden and Dave had rented scanners and Holden was so intense throughout the race, others around us were commenting about it. So cute. Because we had paid for the Fan Zone earlier, we were able to go down and lounge (literally) on the track between the ARCA and Sprint Cup races. It was a really cool experience for all of us.

** My "You Know You're a Crossfitter" moment:  I had Holden hold my feet down to see if I could do GHD sit-ups on the track. (Pssssst: if you're not familiar, tracks like daytona are EXTRMELY banked, cause you know...SCIENCE.) Turns out I totally could. Oh, and I also got up and ran 3.5 miles around the track that morning, cause I'm a weirdo.

Gratuitous my-men-are-adorbs pic.

Any-vroom, we had a blast. And still can't believe we spent that much time at a NASCAR event and did not have a beer. Almost seemed criminal. Ah well. We did eat a crap-ton of nuts. Once again, to prevent us from having to eat any of the horrible choices at the track, I brought a ton of almonds, pistachios, almond butter and fruit. (along with salad and steak) As it happened at the Warrior Dash campout, we definitely ate more of the approved snacks than we normally would have at home...but meh, we're not perfect. The fact that we can go to these types of events and still eat right (even if our protions aren't stellar) and abstain from the alkeehol? I'm sorry, but I'm pretty proud of ourselves. 

You noticing a theme here with me and the Whole 30? Yeah, lots of discipline to eat the right foods, me-not- so-good with portions. That's what happens if I'm not allowed to track calories/carbs. The coconut butter and almond butter were still calling even after I got home. Bastards.

In other news, my copy of Well Fed came in the mail Saturday! Soooo many amazing looking recipes. I made the Chocolate Chili last night and had it for lunch today. It was everything I had hoped for and more. Not as hot as as the Damn Good Chili I've been making lately. Different. Just as good, actually even better IMO. Dave's making dinner tonight because I have a Scout Parent Meeting, but he has orders to make a shrimp stir-fry using the "Best Stir Fry Sauce Ever" from the Well Fed cookbook. Can't wait!

Boogity-Boogity- Boggity!

There is a disturbance in the force.

Normally, the places I frequent on the interwebs are relatively drama-free, supportive places. However, twice so far this morning my hackles have been rasied.

Hackles, I tell you!

On Facebook, a Crossfit friend (who is also in the Paleo Challenge) posted about how yesterday was her first Valentine's Day without chocolate. I think she was proud of herself, as well she should be. But one of her "friends" (and with friends like these...) replied with a bunch of bullshit about how "life is short and you should do what makes you happy. And what do you think of the woman on the Titanic who didn't have desert that night because they wanted to fit into their gown?" Are you fucking kidding me? Maybe it shouldn't have, but that made my blood boil. Don't get me wrong, I am the freakin' poster child for "Life is short, enjoy it now." But here is a woman who is trying to take charge of her health and you're going to try to sabotage her because evidently YOUR life isn't worth living if you can't have chocolate any time you want? I'm sorry, but I'm gonna practice a little bit of discipline here and there and as a result I'm  most likely going to live longer, be stronger and be able to really enjoy everything this wonderful world has to offer to absolute best of my abilities. Or ya know, smoking and overeating makes me happy. Maybe I should go back to that lifestyle, and not be able to even participate in half of the activities I do now that make my life so rich.

The exchange did bring to mind the "arguing on the internet is like.." joke which I will not repeat here. .

The other WTF is literally from the other end of the spectrum. My girl Juli from Paleomg, was given a bunch of grief on her Instagram for posting a picture of some Non-Paleo food. You have to know that her Instagram is her personal space on-line. Her blog, OTOH, the pics and recipes, are all Paleo. Though even on the blog she does on occasion talk about the times when she eats/drinks non-paleo. Which is why we all love her. Fitness and Health are her priority, but she's human  and is ocassionally going to eat something non-paleo every once in awhile. I feel it is so important for her to post when she does, because it keeps us in check. Our society is so all or nothing. Far, far too many people try to be perfect in their dieting/lifestyle changes, and as soon as they wander off course give it all end up and go with FB lady's "Screw it just do what you want whenever you want" philosophy. There IS a middle ground people. You screw up and eat something you know you shouldn't have? The diet/change does not start on Monday. It's starts immediately. With the very. Next. Meal.  It's good to strive for perfection. But at the same time you have to know, that perfection isn't going to happen.

But that doesn't mean you except less than your best.

'Nuff said on all that.

Yesterday Dave and I stopped by a couple of health food markets/cafes and still couldn't find anything we could eat. Turns out the Vegans put freaking Tamari in everything. Gah! So my version of a Valentines Treat was the same thing I've been eating with my dinners this past week. Good old banana, with no-sugar almond butter, and unsweetened coconut flakes. It makes me so happy.
Lunch: Big ass salad with avocado grilled chicken and oil/vinegar. A cup of blueberries/raspberries.
Pre-Workout Snack: I had a Primal Pac.  Honestly, I didn't like it as much as I thought I might. The jerky in it was really good, all the individual bits were actually, but I just personally didn't care of the spices in it. But I'll probably still keep a few on hand for emergencies.
Exercise: 30 minutes of jumping around like an idiot at the Aerobics class at work.
Dinner: Snuck a few spoonfulls of coconut butter. Will NOT be buying more of that when it runs out. Waaaaaay to crack-like to me.Dave made spaghetti squash with meat sauce. Super yummy. I may have also had another banana/almond butter/coconut thing.

So yeah...Dave and I have been discussing where we are going to go after we finish the Whole 30. We will celebrate with some Bakies, but we really want to stay Paleo and not taking any cheats from the Crossfit Paleo Challenge. Let me amend that, I'm pretty sure we'll take a cheat next Saturday night and have a few drinks. But that's about it. We are also seriously considering banning the almond/sun/coconut butters. They are Food Without Brakes for us, I'm afraid. I will also go back to using MyFitnessPal. I'm sorry Paleo/Whole9 world,  but I am just still too broken. If I journal my calories/carbs, I keep my eating in check. I know the Whole 30 is supposed to help you listen to your body, and I think some improvments have been made mentally. But I'm not ready yet to make NOT recording what I eat everyday a permanent thing, which I am pretty sure the scale is going to prove come Wednesday.

Off to Daytona this evening to camp in the infield with the Scouts for the weekend. All the cool kids are coming (ie: parents I really dig) so it should be a good time. Dave and I are packing a crap-ton of food, cause you know there ain't gonna be nothin' healthy at NASCAR central!

I'm the most awesome-est Mom EVAR!

If I do say so myself.

Exhibit A: Holden normally has to wear a uniform to school (khakis or navy pants with a polo). A paper got sent home the other day notifying us that Spring pictures are today, and that the kids were allowed to wear regular clothes to school. This is what he ended up wearing:

A little bummed he left his white keds at Grandma's, but oh well.

I even cleared it with his teacher, so kudos to her for playing along. What I really love about him wearing his Doctor cosplay to school is the fact that he knows that no one knows who he is, but he does it anyway. I really dig that so far anyways, he has no problem being true to himself.

Exhibit B: Our Blue & Gold banquet is a couple of weeks away so our Webelos don't have much to do besides review some of the requirements and practice their ceremony and skits for the event. None of which is all that exciting for them. I've been seeing the "Harlem Shake" videos on Reddit lately, and thought the kids might get a kick out of making our own. Here is the result.

Day 24!!!! The end is in sight! Keep in mind that once we are done with the Whole30 we are still only half-way through the Paleo-Challenge at our Crossfit. However, there are several things (dark chocolate, paleo-hacks) that are considered cheats in the Whole30 that are allowed in the Paleo Challenge. We can't wait. I corresponded with White Lion Baking Company via Facebook to find out when I should put an order in with them so my cookies and magic bars will be here for the day after the Whole30 ends. Sad? Maybe. But better than planning on going hog-wild with non-paleo treats come this time next week. Amiright?

What I ate:

Breakfast: The usual; bacon, eggs, banana, coffee

Lunch: Left-over chili. And yes, I once again blew up like a balloon. Duly noted. The raspberries were amazing.

Pre-workout Snack - Almonds. I wish I could quit you almonds, but you really do seem to fuel my workouts well.

WOD - Helen: 3 rounds of 400 m run, 21 kettlebell swings (Rxed the 35#) and 12 pull-ups (green band) Did it in 12:50.

Post-workout Snack - I really shouldn't have, but I had a couple of spoons of almond butter before the scout meeting since I wouldn't be able to eat dinner until 9:00. The almond butter may get kicked out of the house again. It's dangerously close to being in the "food without brakes" category for me.

Dinner - Threw a whole chicken in the crockpot in AM, so had a chicken breast along with mashed rutabagas and sauteed spinach. I put a bit of coconut butter on the veggies and they were to die for!

Afterwards had a small banana with almond butter and shredded coconut. 

Not pretty, but really tasty.

In these final days, I am not weighing myself...nor journaling specifics of what I am eating. And there is almond AND sun butter in the house. I predict the scale will be ugly come next Tuesday. However, on a positive note, my energy levels are closer to normal today. 

So at least I have that going for me.

Zzzzzzzzzzz

Yeah...like I'm ever so tired I don't eat. Riiiiight.

Still really dragging ass. Last night I took my first Monday evening off of Crossfit (not due to illness) ever. I felt crappy about it, but my shoulder has been bugging me a bit and the WOD for yesterday did not look like it would help matters. More importantly, I was just so exhausted. All that said, I probably still would have gone if not for the fact that Dave and I were in crazy town picking up and dropping off our son and our two nephews all over the place. Their mom (my SIL) passed away very unexpectedly almost a month ago and the whole family is working together to...well, make things work for my bro and the boys. No excuses I know, I could have gone for a run in the dark, I'm a big girl. Or at least done some sit-ups/pushups in the living room. But I didn't. I played with the boys, ate the awesome chili that Dave made, chatted with my bro and then watched a little TV and ate half a banana with almond butter and dried coconut.

As for today, I still feel really, really run down. My energy levels are usually pretty decent so I am not digging whatever the hell this is. I have had a bit of a scratchy throat the past few days. I wonder if the exhaustion is my body fighting off a bug? Oh well, either way I'm pushing through. Last night was nice, but I'm going to Crossfit tonight even if it means dragging my sorry butt in there.

Hey! Guess what? It's Day 23 of the Whole 30!! One week to go! Woot!

This is what I ate on Day 22:
Breakfast: Bacon, banana, coffee and two scrambled eggs. I've started adding a couple of teaspoons of coconut milk to my eggs before I cook them. Good stuff. Oh, coconut milk! Is there nothing you can't do?

Lunch: Salad with shrimp, cucumber, mushrooms, romaine, and cauliflower with one tablespoon each or olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Also a cup of blackberries/raspberries.

Dinner: Damn Good Chili, that my loverly husband made for us. Followed by half a banana with a heaping tablespoon of almond butter and dried, unsweetened shredded coconut sprinkled on top. I had a sudden realization last night that perhaps I have a nightshade allergy. Naturally, I have been super-hyper-focused on my body lately...particularly my belly. The way it inflates and deflates over the course of the day absolutely fascinates me. I really should have taken a picture, because even Dave and Holden were surprised...because after eating the chili I grew a food baby like you would not believe. Seriously. I'm talking 7 months pregnant at least. I brought leftovers in for lunch today, and same deal. BOOM!

Really old references FTW!

So, uh..where's this big energy boost everyone talks about?

Seriously? Aren't I supposed to have the most energy like, EVAR right now, being in Day 22 of the Whole30? (sigh) I am exhausted this morning, even though I went to bed at a decent hour.

I don't want to say I'm disappointed in the Whole30, cause it was a worthy experiment either way...but I guess I am a little jealous of the results other people seem to have gotten, that I have not. I'm going to assume a lot of that is because going into the Whole 30 we're not eating that much different than we normally do, minus really being sticklers about the added sugar in things like bacon and avoiding vegetable oils of all kinds. Though, all said and done, the fact that it got me off of Diet Coke is huge.

Anywhine, I'm just being a grump today. I'll do a proper assessment next week when it is all said and done.

In other news, you wouldn't think even a food addict (like me) could have a binge on a diet this restrictive could you?

Nature finds a way, my friend. Nature finds a way.

And this is the part of the Whole30 journey where I waffle between wondering if this kind of diet helps or hurts my food addiction. We spent Saturday evening and all day Sunday at Magic Kingdom/Epcot. It took everything I had on Saturday to resist all the treats. Smells of sweets and baked good everywhere! I know it sounds melodramatic but I don't care. It was torture. But I held strong. I found a restaurant that served a rotisserie chicken and plain green beans for dinner and that was it for the evening. On Sunday, Dave joined us at Epcot. Again, food porn everywhere. But we held fast and went to the Japanese Hibachi restaurant for lunch. The chef was even kind enough to make our veggies/steak/shrimp without soy sauce and give us extra veggies in place of the noodles and rice. What I did afterwards, is what I am not proud of. On the way to Epcot in the morning, I had picked up a container of salted cashews, almonds, and brazil nuts, and a few apples and bananas, since there wasn't anywhere to eat between the hotel and the Park that would be compliant. I just had a couple of handfuls of nuts in the morning and a banana, as did Dave. But that left me with a good portion of the package left for the ride home. By the time we got out of Epcot I was a basket case. I was hungry. I was in a baaaaad place mentally from so badly wanting candied popcorn, or a cookie, or candy, or chocolate. You get the picture. And we wanted to go to Whole Foods and pick up some things we couldn't get locally. So I had an apple in the car on the way to Whole Foods, and a handful of nuts. Then we shopped and I felt worse. There are lots of good choices at Whole Foods, but a metric fuck-ton of bad ones too. I picked up a cup of cut fruit (melon/strawberries) while we were in there, figuring that would be a good snack to tide me over till we got home. Unfortunately for me, my son wanted to drive home with Daddy which left the front seat open. And KABOOM! 

I've probably used this pic before on this blog. Don't care...still fits.

Yup, ate all the rest of the nuts and the cup of fruit. And still had to hit Publix on the way home so I got a Lara Bar. Was I hungry after the first couple handfuls of nuts? Of course not. 

Here's the thought process: I need this. It's Whole30 compliant, so I'm not technically cheating and...

Nope. That's pretty much the whole thought process. So, so sad though, because Dave was driving behind me and it occurred to me that he might be able to see that I was continually eating the nuts. So I stopped. But only long enough to pull ahead of him (he had to stop for tolls, I did not.) and then back to town I went. The Lara Bar at Publix? The shame cycle was in full swing at that point so why the fark not? Text book ED.

I wanted to eat. I wanted to eat, more than I wanted to be fit. I wanted to eat more than I wanted to keep enjoying the flat (for me) belly the Whole30 has produced over the last few days. I wanted to eat more than I wanted to enjoy the feelings of satisfaction and accomplishment I've been feeling while doing this Whole30 . 

(sigh)

It's no big surprise, that the flat belly is gone. Almonds/cashews...are you perhaps not as friendly to my system as I thought you were or was it just the volume? Or the salt? They were really salty. Whatever. The point is that I've been feeling like crap mentally (and physically too, come to think of it) since then. I really want to know why I still have these attacks of disordered eating. (I suppose some might disagree with me calling it a binge, due to lack of total volume, but it was uncontrolled, unnecessary eating) I guess I need to come to terms with the fact that this is how I'm wired and it's going to happen every now and again. But at least now, when it does happen I "binge" on nuts and fruit as opposed to the past where it would have been a trip to McDonalds and some donuts and candy, and who knows what else. So progress, of sorts, has been made...and with hope maybe some more in the future. 

We shall see.

*** OMG you guys, so I was just about finished with this post/pity party when a patron walked up to say hello. (Don't judge, I'm on a break.) She goes on to tell me that she's been looking for me because she wanted to thank me for being such an inspiration to her. She's a food addict too apparently, and she explained how a bunch of things I told her really helped her come to terms with her addiction and make positive changes. She's down 25 pounds so far and continuing to lose. She got teary-eyed explaining how she's had some real stressful things going on in her personal life and wanted to have a pizza binge, but resisted. She had a banana instead and was so very proud of herself, as well she should be. Which given my own mental state at that moment had me in tears, too.

Life sure is funny sometimes.

Sorry, time warp. Couldn't be helped.

Seriously. Where the hell did this week go? Missed two days of blogging and barely realized it.

Yeah. That.

 And I can't even blame the family because Dave's in Deland taking care of a friend and Holden has been staying at my mom's the last two days helping with his cousins.

But lest you fear my two day disappearance meant I'd fallen off the Whole30 wagon,

I'm sorry. I just wanted an excuse to use this pic.

'Cause to be honest, though I have no fear that I will complete the Whole 30 without any cheats, it has been dang hard, and quite frankly is getting harder. Not gonna lie, I felt like a mild panic attack was starting when I was in Publix last night. The fact that I was just totally surrounded by bad choices was really freaking me out for some reason. Same thing happened in CVS the day before. The Whole30 has opened my eyes (even more than the Primal Blueprint did) to how absolufuckinglutely surrounded by bad choices we are nearly 24/7. 

I also have to fess up to weighing myself. I'm sorry. I can't not weight myself and not journal. At this juncture I'm at the same weight I was when I left for Austin. (I started the Whole 30 the day after we returned) Which kinda bums me out a little, as I'd really hoped to be down more than that by Day 19. But I guess the flip-side is, Austin was going to happen either way and a detox after that trip was definitely needed. Just kinda sucks that it takes 3 weeks to make up for 4 days/10lbs. (sigh)

Not going to get depressed over it. An old friend who I don't get to see nearly enough invited me out to a Country place to see a band tonight, so out I shall go. And in this situation, for several reasons (safety, late night IHOP visits, etc) I'm very glad I won't be drinking at all tonight.

******

Some things I've been eating the past couple days in no particular or detail...(What? I'm not journaling, how am I supposed to remember what I ate two days ago?)

Mega-breakfast!

I made Rabbit Stew on Tuesday. Yup. You read that right. I'd seen it at the Mexican Butcher's in town and always wanted to try it. It was...ok. Some parts of it tasted, yes, like chicken...but other parts were kinda gamey. But it was edible and I'm glad we tried it. Holden loved it. Dave pretty much felt like I did about it.

Other than the Turkey Leg at the Warrior Dash, I ate out for the first time on the Whole30 on Wednesday. We went to a Thai place and after almost having a panic attack due to not finding anything on the menu compliant , I settled on a grilled beef salad, plain. I brought my own oil and vinegar like a good girl.

Last night, I had to cook for just myself again and had nothing that wasn't frozen (hence the panic inducing stop at Publix last night) and ended up making myself coconut shrimp. It was actually really good, but I made too much. I felt like I overate it and I still threw some away. (sigh) I'll get this shit right one day

Ugly, but tasty.

In the exercise realm, did Crossfit as usual Tuesday and Wednesday and the silly aerobics at work yesterday. On Wednesday we did the Hero WOD Loredo, named for .S. Army Staff Sergeant Edwardo Loredo, 34, of Houston, Texas, assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 508th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 82nd Airborne Division, based in Fort Bragg, North Carolina, may he rest in peace. We had a cut-off time of 35 minutes and I did it with 15 seconds to spare. For the record, walking lunges are like time-delayed burpees. They suck. I'm so sore it hurts to sit in a freakin' chair right now. But then I think about how much better my ass and legs and looking and then I feel better.

Have a wonderful weekend and stay classy inter-tubes!

Pitiful excuse for a post

I just got back from Scouts, I'm cranky and I really want some chocolate. It's probably time for Aunt Flo to come to town but I can never know for sure because the bitch lost her license almost 2 years ago now...so I get postcards that she'd like to visit, but the PIA never actually shows up.

Yeah. That was all a really bad metaphor for the fact that I had all my girly bits, save for one ovary removed....and can still suffer the hormonal fluctuations a period brings but no proof if my attitude is due to that, or I'm just being a bitch with poor control issues.

Anywhine, it's Day 16 and I am waffling between this-is-a-piece-of-cake and this-is-fucking-stupid-why-can't-I-have-my-86%-chocolate? The interesting part is that I'm not even dreaming of regular-people cheats, I just want some sweet potato brownies, or bakies (banana breadish/dark chocolate cookies) or maybe a protein powder pancake with honey.

Huh. You do realize what all those things have in common right? Yeeeeeah. Guess I need to cut out the fruit even more. Seems the Sugar Dragon is still pretty far from being tamed.

(Sigh)

Moving on....so, Monday's food:
Breakfast - Bacon, eggs, banana, coffee
Lunch- leftover chili, grapes
Pre-WOD Snack - almonds
Crossfit - 5 rounds - 60 singles (RX was 20 double unders) 150 meter Waiters Walk Rxed the 25#, and 10 knees (almost) to elbows. Did it in 14:10.
Dinner - Chicken drumsticks and green beans and small handful of grapes and almonds.

I know, I know.

Screw it, I'm going to bed. Tomorrow's another day.

Friends who get dirty together, stay together.

The Warrior Dash was good fun, as expected.

Seemingly half the box showed up, which was AWESOME.

And even more awesome was the fact that Women in the Wind - Space Coast Chapter President and one of my favorite human beings on the planet, Liza showed up too!

I'm telling everyone on FB that I carried her across the whole course this way. 

Crossfit! Raaaar!

The only obstacle that gave me any pause at all was this one:

But even it was not bad at all.

It was more mental than anything else. You had to pick and choose your foot/hand holds a bit, but it was totally do-able. Though I do have to admit to there being a bit of a disconnect still, between what my body can do and what I think it can do. Once or twice I thought I had found myself in a position wherein I might have hard time getting up and over, but each time I stopped, thought about, then gave an ooomph and away I went. No problemo. Which is very cool.

I double-checked and the Turkey Legs at the WD were Whole30 compliant. Thank Gaaaawd. It was bad enough we couldn't have a post-race beer, but to not even be able to eat anything would have really sucked.

PALEO! Fuck-yeah!

I'm happy to report that we survived, nay ENJOYED a great evening at River Ranch with Liza and Carlos and all our Crossfit peeps without any alcohol. Shocking, huh? And waking up in a hotel room (it being just the two of us) and not wisp of a headache or anything? Weird. Great. But weird. 

I'm not going to do a detailed breakdown of our food Friday-Sunday because we grazed a lot over the weekend and I can't remember specifics. I know I ate too much fruit and too many almonds (in accordance to my weight-loss goals). However, we were Whole 30 compliant. All things considered, I'm not going to beat myself over it. I packed a metric shit-ton of food for the weekend so we would have no excuse to go off-plan, (pineapples, strawberries, blackberries, almonds, bananas, kale chips, etc) but as a result we did nosh quite a bit more than we would at home, especially around the campfire. But seriously, we didn't drink and "gorged" on fruit and nuts while everyone around us was drinking beer and eating cookies. Please excuse me while I throw my shoulder out patting myself on the back.

Regarding meals, I will say that I much more successfully made the Caribbean Plantain and Meat Casserole Friday night. Turns out when she says to make sure the plantains you use are black she means it. Not plantains with some black on them, I mean to-ta-lee haven't-these-gone-bad black. As it stands if you actually follow the directions they are A-wait for it-MAZING. Seriously. As in this-can't-possibly-be-Whole30-hell-even-Primal-Blueprint-allowed. But it is my little chickadees, it IS!

Which brings us to.....drum roll please...

Day 15!!!!!!!!

Putting on the game face.

The Warrior Dash is tomorrow! Yay!!!!!! A ton of folks from Crossfit are going and one of my most favorite human beings in the entire world, Liza, is going as well. Double-Yaaaaaay with a kermit arm flail!

You have no idea Wonka. You have no idea.

This time last year I was so excited, but really sweatin' whether or not I could complete the obstacles. This year, I'm all, "it'll-be-a-piece-of-cake" Hopefully this attitude will not come back to bite me in the ass. Looking at the course I do not think it will. It'll be a great workout I am sure of it, but nothing impossible.After the race, Dave and I and some others from Crossfit are staying at River Ranch, a resort nearby. Being on the Whole30 kinda adds a degree of difficulty to it all in that I'm guessing we are going to have to pack all our own food because the restaurant there is good, but very "diner" in quality. Aaaaaaand we can't drink. Which will be weird to be staying somewhere like that for the night and not drink. At all. Judge if you must, but that is odd for us.

But I have a feeling that the Crossfit crew will be entertaining enough that drinks will not be necessary.

Crap! I just remembered I forgot to practice my Indian Leg Wrestling. Better get crackin'.

*****
Day 11
Breakfast - 2 scrambled eggs, an avocado, bacon, coffee and a banana. I KNOW!

Lunch - Leftover chicken thigh and zucchini from last night with grapes.

Exercise - I just couldn't take the aerobics class at work today, mentally. Just too repetitive and boring. So I went for a 2 mile run outside instead. Much better. Had some almonds/cashews afterwards.

Dinner: Ok, there were some cravings today. First, right after I ate the nuts and then after dinner. Dinner was stew beef with carrots and onions I had tossed in the crockpot in the morning with some broth and spices. I wanted something, but I wasn't sure what. Ok, I knew what I wanted (cupcakes, chocolate, anything like that) but I couldn't figure out what I could actually have that I wanted. I tried an apple but it wasn't crisp enough, I took two bites and gave it to Dave. Grabbed a hard boiled egg, took two bites of that and realized it was way too cold and therefore to me, tasteless. So I gave it to the dog. And at that point said, "Fuck it" the universe is trying to tell me to stop eating. So I did.

And I gotta say, I'm fully recovered (ie: deflated) from Austin and my stomach is the flattest it's pretty much ever been.

So at least I have that going for me......