Crossfit: It's not boring!

And it'll kick your ass a lot of the time...well, all the time if you're doing it right. In a good way. But you don't need me to go on about how it pushes you to new levels in terms of finding out what you are capable of, the things you learn about yourself, blah-di-blah. That is all true. But you can read that all over the web, go ahead and google "Crossfit," I'll wait.

See? It's been said in tons of places with way more eloquence than I ever could.

What? You didn't leave? Fine, lazybones, I'll explain how it actually works: Crossfitters meet in a "Box" not a gym. It is very basic and has only the type of equipment you use in the WODs (workout of the day). These would include pull-up bars, (with bands for those of us who are still no where near a real pull-up...YET) ropes, dumbbells, barbells, weighted balls, rings, back extension thingamabobs, mats for sit-ups, etc. They often have rowing machines, but no tread mills, stairmasters, aerobics room, weight machines, etc. This is because everyone works out as a group with a Trainer/Leader at designated times. You don't just come in when you want and workout alone. When you arrive you write your name on one of the big white boards that lists the WOD. Then, on your own,  you go through a 10-15 minute warm-up that at my Box includes three rounds of stretches, pull-ups, sit-ups, squats, back extensions, and  ring dips. Then the Trainer goes over the WOD in detail teaching form and answering questions before you begin. Once it starts, everybody is super encouraging of each other and the Trainer(s) walk around helping people with their form. Which is important as Crossfit incorporates a lot of Olympic-style lifting, which when done correctly is very safe and a great workout. But needs to be done right, in order to prevent injury. The WODs can last anywhere from 7 to 25 minutes, depending upon the day. And they are different every day, which to me, is the greatest part about it. Boredom is never an issue.

That said, I can say that it is not for everyone. My impression is if your number one goal for working out is looking good, not fitness...you probably are not going to last that long. I could be wrong, but to push yourself enough to really do Crossfit right, I feel like your motives need to be a little more than vanity. Don't get me wrong, you'd be hard-pressed to find many in the Box who don't care about looking good. However, I think for most it is an awesome by-product of trying to get as functionally fit and strong as possible, not the goal in and of itself.

You see, in Crossfit there are no easy days. And there are no excuses. But even on the hardest days when I have had  to scale everything waaaaaaay down just to participate, by the end of the workout I know I did the best that I could do that day and that is all that matters. And during a period where I am really struggling with body image, this is a great lesson. I look around the room and there are all, and I mean ALL, shapes and sizes. From the perfect hard bodies to those who are...not. And everything in between. And some days the hardbodies are are on fire and other days the bigger folks are lifting more weight and some days those of us in the middle are kicking it. But the point is it doesn't matter at all how much we lift or how fast we run compared to each other. It's all about how can YOU perform against yourself?

On the other hand, seeing others further along in their goals is a huge incentive, and a big departure from regular gyms. I don't know about you, but when I used to go to regular gyms and would see the hard-bodies prancing about it...well, quite frankly, it depressed me. My gut reaction was, "Well, crap I'm never gonna look like that so why bother?" But now, in the Box, I am working out right alongside others and I hear and see how hard they are working and it inspires me. I see them doing something amazing and I think, "If I keep trying I will be able to do that!" I also know this because they tell me. More experienced Crossfitters are really open and encouraging and remind newbies, "Hey, when I started I couldn't do that either." And that is so very encouraging and makes all of my goals seem more realistic and attainable.

So those are my impressions so far. The folks at Treasure Coast Crossfit have been awesome and I really look forward to every workout. If you've been thinking of giving Crossfit a try I really recommend it. I've yet to meet a person who wouldn't benefit from it; from Teens to Grandmas. (I'm not kidding we have both in our Box.)

Zombie Gerbil

by chaotic-color at deviant art

Sunday afternoon Dave noticed Mario (or was it Luigi?) one of Holden's two gerbils looked...unwell. Ever the optimist I thought maybe it was groggy because it had just woken up. Yeah, not so much. The next morning, I peeked in the cage and sure enough, the poor thing had shuffled loose the mortal coil. As if that was not disturbing enough on a Monday morning, it seemed to also be missing most of its face. I suspected maybe a wild mouse or maybe even our cat had gotten into the cage, but sadly, no. The bloody evidence was upon the the face and tiny paws of his companion. His all white, gerbil companion. Who looked himself, not all that well. Just picture that if you will.

So I have a Zombie Gerbil on my hands.

Which is good training I suppose for the Run for Your Life/Zombie/Obstacle Race 5K coming up in a few weeks. Several friends have been planning for this race since the spring. I really hope it meets their expectations. I've heard mixed reviews. It'll be fun from an Obstacle Race perspective I'm sure. I'm expecting it to be on par with the Warrior Dash in terms of difficulty.(ie: very do-able) But I think the talent of the Zombies in performance and make-up really depends upon location. What with Orlando's service/entertainment industry, I am hopeful the Zombies will put on a good show. My friends are making plans and strategies that I predict will all go out the window once we get out there. I'm planning on hanging back with all of them (none of them are runners) and helping some of them through the obstacles if needed. However, if the Zombies are really good and I get freaked out (which is entirely possible) it is every man for himself and I'm hoofing it. I wish I was kidding but I am such a kitty-cat when it comes to scary stuff. If this was held at night, there is no way I could/would do it. The only Zombie movies I can watch are ones like Zombieland and  Shaun of the Dead (one of my fave movies ever) because they are funny. And I still can only watch them in the middle of the day. 

And that exact expression of pants-pooping fear and glee and is exactly what you should expect to see on me at the race.

All that said, why not use my weenie-ness to fuel my runs? I just downloaded "Zombies, Run!" It's a running app that integrates with your music and puts you into a Zombie Apocalypse story. Supposedly it tells you when the Zombies are after you and then you sprint. A friend of mine who is notoriously thrifty shelled out the $8 for it, so it must be good. As soon as the weather, gets a bit cooler mid-day I'd like to do some more mid-day runs to supplement the evening Crossfit. I think Zombies should be fairly decent motivation.

**So this is a conversation that just happened:

Patron - Do you have 'The Day My Butt Went Psycho'?

Me - No, I'm sorry we don't. But I do have 'Zombie Butts from Uranus.'

I love my job.

Trust me! It'll look awesome, I saw it on Pinterest.

So this is what my bathroom looks like right now:



The husband is very concerned.

We've pretty much been letting our crappy little house get crappier and crappier under the delusion that we're going to build a new one in the future. Therefore why sink money into something that in a matter of years is quite literally going to be torn down? But Dave and I started talking about it and we both had to come to terms with the fact that if we want to continue living the sort of lifestyle we have been, we just can't afford to build a new house. Not for a VERY long time anyways. And that is O.K....I'd much rather have my toys and vacations and continue to invest for our retirement etc vs having a big (ok, normal sized) new house, but then be too strapped to do anything outside of it. Call me odd, but a "nice" house is just not a priority to me.

That said, there are somethings we could do that won't break the bank that would make the house more presentable. So from this point on, we are going to start working on those little projects between all the other stuff we have going on. It's going to take quite awhile, but that's ok. Rome wasn't built in a day nor are 1950s cracker homes Pinterest-ified in...a day...or something.

What I Think I Look Like

What I Really Look Like




That didn't take long did it? That little bit of heaven pictured above is a 2012 Kawasaki Concours. I weighed my options, test drove a few different brands and models, both old and new. For my budget, the Connie is the best combo of Sport and Touring for me.

It is so choice. If you have the means I highly recommend picking one up. (bonus 80s pop culture points for that movie reference)

Seriously, it's awesome. See the pics above. Pretty much sums it up. I feel like I've recaptured the love and thrill of riding that I kind of lost over the past year or so.

So of course now I need to look at new jackets and helmets....a girl's gotta match.

Stuff and things

Is it just me but does a sign like that make you want to go in there?

Last post was a little heavy, but I'm glad I got that out. For today let's just focus on the crazy-banana-pants-fun-stuff going on lately, shall we?

The Women in the Wind gals (female motorcycle club) had a co-ed overnight ride to St Augustine the weekend before. It was the first time I'd really ridden my bike in a couple of months. Why? Partly because I lost the key when my purse was stolen and it took me months to replace it. No, not because BMW gave me a hard time, but because it's been hot as hell lately and I've not been inspired to ride. I'm a weirdo that actually prefers riding in the colder temps. And more importantly, because I'm bored with my bike. I know, I know....could there be a bigger first world problem?  

Total piece of crap, isn't it?

Don't get me wrong, it's an awesome bike. The best bike, in my opinion, if you like to wick it up in the twisties but still want a Cruiser-style bike. And it's so freaking cool looking. But it's not me anymore. I've fallen in love with the Sport Tourers. I want the agility and speed of a sport bike, but with an upright sitting position, electric windshield, fairings and cruise control. In other words, the ability to really tear it up, safely, in the mountains AND be comfortable and more protected from the elements on the long ride there from Florida. 

Anyway, back to St Augustine... this happened.

That shirt reminds me so much of the stuff sold on the Jersey Shore in the 80s. Pose is meant to be ironic, just for the record.

After an evening of fun, there may have been alcohol involved for the record, I suggested we climb down into the (dry) moat around the Fort and make big shadows on the wall in the shape of WITW. For some reason, one or two in the group though climbing down the 8 foot wall might not be the wisest idea in our condition. Buzz-kills. Dave suggested instead that we stand on the edge and the back-light would make a cool pic.

He was right.

The whole weekend was good fun, but it did finally solidify my desire to sell my bike and try to find a used RT or FJR in my price range. That said, cross your fingers denizens of the interwebs, we should be delivering Blue to her new owner tomorrow morning. I've already got a whole list of potential bikes saved on Cycle Trader. Mua-hahahahahha

This one is probably going to be it, if my old man will front me the difference between Blue and it.

In other news, Dave's skydiving again.

Seriously, could he be any more awesome?

He did a couple of hundred jumps in his high-school and college days; but flying, wrenching, life and logistics...oh yeah, and money (or lack there of) got in the way. He's sacrificed for years to always keep me in horses and as a result has put his own passions on the back burner. Thankfully, though we are at point in our lives where he is ready to be a little more aggressive regarding his needs/wants (a GOOD thing, trust me) and I think I've grown-up enough to sacrifice some of my own, if it makes him happy. 

And it does. I know it sounds trite, but there really is no better realization of how much you love someone as when you realize that them being fulfilled and truly happy makes you feel the same. 

In closing ladies and germs, lest I complete a post without some sort of reference to food and fitness. I made this:

Gross, but yummy. This is getting to be a trend with me.

It's a Meatza. A meat-topped pizza with a ground-beef crust, instead of pizza dough. It looks so wrong, but it tastes so right. Definitely for those wacky Paleos and Primals amongst us.

And on the fitness end of things, I'm in the middle of a free week trial at an actual Crossfit Box. Full Gorilla Fitness, the beginner-Crossfit-in-the-park-program, we were doing over the summer are on hiatus until who knows when due to the trainers being too busy with their full-time jobs. Something about needing to concentrate on educating our youth and taking care of their own families. Whatever. That said, I am really digging Treasure Coast Crossfit and will most likely be joining. More on my experiences there coming up soon.

Till then, keep the shiny side up!

So I guess this is how eating disorders are created.

Looking back on the time before I came to grips with my Food Addiction, I felt as if  I had a kind of body image issue that would be reverse of those I've heard anorexics and bulimics suffer. My understanding is that oftentimes, when an extremely underweight anorexic looks in the mirror they still see themselves as fat. I, on the other hand, could not see, even in a full length mirror (cause yeah, I did own one) how big I had become. Don't get me wrong, I didn't think I was skinny, mind you. Just, I don't know...zaftig, maybe? It wasn't until I hit rock bottom and not coincidentally started paying closer attention to some recent photos that I really saw it.

The crazy thing now is that I will look at myself in certain pictures from back then and specifically remember thinking I looked pretty dang good. And let me tell you my friends, I most certainly did not. And it's not just me. My buddy Dani, who has lost at least 90lbs in the past couple of years, says she has suffered from the same phenomenon.

And now? Now, some days we both "feel" fatter than we ever did when we were 75-90lbs heavier. That just makes all kinds of sense doesn't it? <sigh> I think for me anyways, it's about the fact that, initially, I just wanted to not be the fattest girl in the room anymore. I just wanted to be small enough to blend in. Nothing real specific in terms of body shape/size/strength/fitness. In fact my initial goal weight was 180lbs. I knew from past experience I looked pretty good there, and it was maintainable in my mind. In other words, the bar wasn't set that high...or low. Whatever. To put it in perspective, the concept of only have five or ten pounds  to lose was laughable to me. I didn't ever imagine getting to that point. More importantly, I couldn't imagine caring about just an extra  five or ten pounds.

But ....now that is where I find myself. I have friends who have quite literally said, "So you're not going to lose any more right?" And my thought is "Hell yeah, dear Lord! Do you not see all the fat still on me!" I have become one of "those women." The everyday ones, who sure, they weren't models, but whose bodies I literally would have given a pinky finger to have swapped bodies with two years ago. And now it's not enough. And I obsess.

What's gotten me this far into the journey (and is sustaining me) is my new found love for being fit and all the cool things you can do when you are. And that love of fitness has enlightened me to just how much physical potential I have. For the first time in my life, strong abs, killer arms, running a decent 5K pace, etc are actually within my reach. They're not something "for other people." Which is awesome. 

Mostly.

What bothers me just a bit is that, this new found attitiude...the expectations as mentioned in my last post

can result disappointment when they are not met. Just blending in isn't good enough anymore. Now I want to be the fittest in the room. 

So I'm putting pressure on myself. And obsessing about Primal eating 24/7. At which point do I chill out and accept that it's the journey, not destination? Part of me feels as if it is what it is, I'm a food addict I always will be a food addict and channeling the need to binge into as positive a mode as I can (reading obsessing about nutrition and fitness) is the best I can do. Of course the other part  of me wonders if I am healed enough to do as the other Primals do and stop counting calories/carbs. Ditch the scale completely. Eat what I am supposed to eat and let it go and move on with my life.

I am absolutely terrified that if I do this I will gain the weight back faster than you can eat a cupcake.

So for now I'm going to keep on keeping on. Keep reading. Keep journaling. I kind of wish I had something else going on in my life to distract me...and by something else I mean something fun. Not, ya know, my paid and unpaid "work." But I don't. And maybe that is for a reason.

Maybe.

I am.....Bat Girl.

So Dave and I have a reputation amongst the folks who run the Pangea Adventure Races. As the fastest team? Uh, no. Most efficient? Not likely. Friendliest? I'd like to think so, but not what I'm getting at. We, as the Out of Steam Punks, are known as being the Team most likely to ham it up for the Team Photos. I have no idea why we would have that reputation.

So. yeah.

The Superhero AR was last weekend. All I can say is, thank goodness we have a nine year old son at home.

Ya know Bat Girl's alter ego is a Librarian, right? 

In my opinion, it was an extremely competitive, fast race. We ended up in 11th place out of 45 teams. Without a doubt it was our best race in terms of personal speed. We ran, ok...jogged, the entire Trek portion for the first time ever and were way stronger on the paddle than we ever have been before. I seriously credit that to the Crossfit-style workouts we've been doing all summer. The bike was the bike. I didn't feel slow, but I don't think I was any faster than I had been in the past. It just goes to prove how every race is different, from the challenges of the course itself, to the competition. Without a doubt had we performed at other races this year the way we did Saturday I know we would have top three-ed. (yes, that's a word) But that's what makes the ARs so fun, they are always different and it's not always the most fit or the smartest that win in the end. 

Which brings us to our latest conundrum. When we first started doing the ARs we felt so incredibly outclassed in terms of speed/fitness in relation to the other teams. Any success we had was met with elation and incredulousness. Now, well...we want to top three. And can actually see it happening if we keep working on our speed. We actually had a faster Trek (foot) time than any of the teams that beat us. But they all gained a few minutes on us during the canoe and bike. We lost some precious minutes during the canoe portion when another team crashed into us and made us tip over. Not really their fault, well kinda...but not really. It was an extremely narrow portion of the river and the current was strong..and well, rubbing is racing my friends. The dip was very refreshing, I can tell you that.

This would be pre-crash...in the area where I am pretty sure we heard banjo music playing.

 On the bike portion we did lose a few minutes to a couple of quickly caught navigational errors. That's not a dig on Dave. He's the bomb-diggety with the map and we wouldn't have 1/10 of the success we have had if he wasn't the one holding the map. 

But about that conundrum...when we first started we didn't care how we placed, it was all about just having fun. Which it still is, mostly. But it's also a little about trying to place as high as we can now, too. I guess what I am saying is that we care now. And sometimes it kinda sucks to care because then you actually have expectations. Which can result in disappointment when those expectations are not met. Which even though we haven't really admitted it to each other, I know we felt just a little disappointed with just finishing 11th on Saturday. 

That said, we are still crazy proud of each other and all of the physical gains (or losses as the case may be) we've made in the past year. And the slight disappointment or doubt wasn't anything a couple of beers couldn't chase away.

That's healthy, right?