Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Day 2: The Reckoning

I'll not keep you in suspense, I stayed on point yesterday. In fact, came in below target on all macros. Which is not something I want to make a habit of (gains, brah!) but for Day One? Better under than over. All par for my course...when I'm good, I'm really good, when I'm bad?

You get the point.

Macros for the day were the following: 1238 calories, 81g carbs, 45g fat, 137g protein. This included an amazing petite sirloin with mushrooms, onions and asparagus for dinner. Major yummers!

That said, the day was not without its' challenges...and epiphanies. I had a fight with my best friend. Fear not we've already worked it out. But it sucked. It started while I was still at work and as soon as I hung up I had such an insatiable urge for a cigarette. I do not normally get urges to smoke, unless I'm around other smokers. However, I've noticed that on the rare occasions I get into a fight (for lack of a better word) I really, really, really want a cigarette. I had always assumed it was just a societal driven, Pavlovian response. What do you see anyone in any movie ever do when shit starts going down? Grab a cigarette.

But I think it is more than that. I actually think it is more about self-flagellation and/or self-harming. I'm taking my aggression out on myself. I know it's bad for me, it never actually calms me down, pretty much always makes me feel worse...yet still the urge to do it.
So there's that.

I'm proud to report, I did not succumb  to that temptation. I didn't go to the gym yesterday, but I did go for a two mile walk with Dave after dinner. Dave shaved my hair for me just before we left, so I spent the entire walk bitching about the little hairs bugging me, as well as the mosquitos, and how, "I am so fucking OVER summer right now with this damn heat and the humidity."

And then God said, "Ha!"

I'll take, "Saturday Night Live Alumni and Author Reference for $500 Alex." 

And we spent the last half mile walking home in a heavy downpour, with the wind in our faces. And  I laughed. Because what else are you going to do? Plus, it felt better than the stray hairs/mosquitos/heat/humidity anyways.

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