What I'm Gaining By Losing

I can get on my horse from the ground with ease.

It's somehow much easier to swing my leg over my motorcycle.

My bath towels fit all the way around my body.

My everyday, chronic back pain is completely gone.

I can shop in any store.

I can wear shorts and belts.

I fit in those molded plastic patio chairs without my fat spilling out the sides or fear of breaking them.

I don't have to order extra wide boots to fit over my calf.

I can run from the barn to the house for something without getting winded, same goes for running upstairs at work.

I don't have to worry about weight limits stopping me from participating in certain activities. (zip lines, horseback tours, etc)

I don't fear not fitting properly on amusement park rides.

I can jump and dance around with the kids at work without fear of the jiggling traumatizing them.

Airplane seats suddenly got a lot bigger.

I don't live in fear of being filmed from behind by a local news crew reporting on the obesity epidemic.

I'm starting to be able to cash the checks  my inner bad-ass has always wanted to write.

It's Cantaloupe Day!

Today is the first anniversary of the day I decided to get fit. One year ago today I had a hysterectomy and a cantaloupe-sized ovarian cyst removed. The cancer scare alone was enough to have me thinking that I needed to get my act together health-wise. But it wasn't until those first days after surgery when everything clicked. Those of you who have fought food addiction, or any other addiction for that matter, know exactly what I am talking about. You tell yourself every morning that you're going to quit smoking, or eat better, or quit drinking, but until you are truly ready, every day ends the same way. If you are lucky though, one day you become ready...some have to hit their proverbial rock bottom first, some don't. But some way, some how, that click has to happen. No amount of cajoling or lecturing from anyone can force it.

Sitting at home in the week or two after the surgery, I was feeling as weak and worthless as I have ever felt. Though I had been holding on to 250 + lbs for several years, its affects on my life were very gradual. I credit my Eastern European heritage (Strong, like bull) with letting me get away with carrying so much extra weight for so long. However, in the past year or so it had really begun to slow me down and effect what I could or could not do, be it on vacations or in every day life. Pair that with the kick-in-the-ass that major abdominal surgery is, and you had me at my weakest. Then I saw a commercial for Nike or something like it. Just a montage of women running and climbing.

CLICK.

I. Want. That.

Not her body, but the ability. The potential to run and jump and do things...gracefully, effortlessly, and without pain.

And that is what this past year (and the future) is about. It's not about the size of the pants, or if I'm a hot momma. It's about my body working for me, and not against me. I started having dreams about running and climbing. In the dreams, I was light as a feather, yet strong. I was an athlete.

So I started doing Weight Watcher's online and I committed myself to at least 30 minutes of some kind of cardio every day. Variety in my workouts and Adventure Racing keeps me motivated.

As of today, I have lost 65 lbs but I have gained so much more.

Andie Mitchell of the blog, "Can You Stay For Dinner?" did a series of posts about what you gain from losing. It's fantastic. Go read it. http://www.canyoustayfordinner.com/what-i-miss-from-135lbs-ago/

And then come back tomorrow and read my personal version of those sentiments.

Have a great Cantaloupe Day!