Monday, February 27, 2012

Raccoons: Adorable Little Scamps or Evil Murder Machines?

My cockatoo Mushi lives on the front porch. She likes it out there. Around 5:00 this morning I heard her Distress Squawk. Which is different from her Pay Attention to Me Squawk. I hopped out of bed, opened the front door (her cage is immediately outside the door) and found myself face to face with one of the largest raccoons I have ever seen sitting on top of her cage.

We stared each other down for several seconds. The look on it's face was not one of fear or aggression, but more of a, "Oh hai! I was just going to see about helping myself to some Australian, did you want some?" My though process went from, "Aaaaw so big and fluffy! I wanna hug it! How cute and it's within arm's reach!" to "Holy fuckballs! A potentially dangerous wild animal is within arm's reach!" Which is when I yelled and I quote, "You! You get out of here! Right Now! Get!"

He looked at me, again without fear or aggression...more like, confusion. As if to say, "Wait. What? I don't even...did you have dibs on this or something? I mean, you put the cat food out for me, I just asssuuuuuumed the parrot was for me too...I mean, you left it in a cage and everything. Whatevs." I had to start waving my arms before it climbed off the cage and took off for the bushes.

I'm pretty sure I saw it give me the finger as he left.

** Mushi will be coming inside nightly from now on.


  1. Incredibly cute, murderous little bastards. One took out half my chicken flock this summer. I'm down to 5 hens (one who hatched out and is currently raising 5 chicks) and two roos. I'd much rather a fox get my chickens. At least they take the whole bird and do not leave evidence of the massacre. Still trying to remember why I thought it would be a good idea to have fresh eggs.

  2. I LOVE having fresh eggs! Being Paleo, we go through a LOT of them. But yeah, sometimes the heartbreak of the dang predators can be discouraging.