Before and Currently

A little 'Before' action for you. This was taken a few years ago but is pretty representative of where I was a year ago. I held on to 250lbs for several years. With my former amount of activity and intake, my body maintained that weight happily. (in a perverse way)

At last month's Adventure Race about 195. I've been playing with same 5lbs for the past month. 194 is the lowest I have gotten thus far. I am committed now to getting to 180 for May 9th. That date is the one year anniversary of my hysterectomy and cantelope removal that inspired this transition to a new, fit lifestyle. 

I'm not going to lie, like everyone else I want to lose weight and get fit as fast as possible, but at the same time I knew my only hope in truly being successful was in doing it slowly. Via a lifestyle change, not a diet. Have I gotten frustrated at the pace at times? Hells yeah! But I also know that those who take it off slowly have a much higher success rate in terms of keeping it off. I know now and accept that I will always have to journal my food. I always have to get in at least 30 minutes of real exercise 5-6 days a week. (strolls/leisure hikes don't really count)

And that's ok. A few years ago I had half of my thyroid taken out and I have to take Synthroid every day too. It is what it is. There is no end to this process, well other than ya know, death.

And of course the fringe benefit, beyond a longer, more productive life is that I can do stuff now! I don't have to research the Zip Line or Trail Riding Outfit ahead of time to find out if I am within their weight restrictions. I'm doing mother-loving Adventure RACES! Fairly well, even! I can get on my horse from the ground like it ain't no thing.  A year ago with a mounting block I was struggling. Ass is seriously being kicked. By me.

I'd like to amend that old "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" saying. You can take your skinny and your size 0 pants and shove it. 

Nothing tastes as good as being fit feels.

Self-Righteous Weight-Loss

I have to preface this by saying if you are overweight and take control of your health, be it by counting calories, using pre-packaged meals, exercise, surgery or any combination of the above or other means, GOOD FOR YOU! (that was an emphatic capitalization, not a sarcastic one. I mean it.)

However, I'm gonna toss some truth at your eyeholes. Some of those who do it without surgical methods do feel a little self-righteous towards those who do. How do I know? Because I'm one of them. I didn't even realize that I felt that way about it until I started talking to a new friend. I found out, several months after having met her, that she lost over 100 lbs in the past year. We started talking about our food addiction issues and how she wants to exercise more. I was giving her tips on how to train for her first 5K. We really started bonding over our conversations about our continual struggle with food and exercise. And then I found out a few weeks later via someone else that she had a gastric bypass. My honest-to-goodness first thought was, "What??!? That's cheating! You can't pretend to have such a hard time sticking to your diet and all the rest when you've had the surgery! I've had to WORK my ass off for every pound. Hell, if I puked everytime I ate more than I was supposed to I would have hit goal weight months ago." Yeah, I know. Not nice, brain.

You see the thing of it is, we who have lost weight without surgery do not judge those who have. We don't think you are weaker than us and that we are inherently better people. However a lot of us would be lying if we didn't say we felt (sometimes) that you took the easier way out. In truth, I know that the surgeries are FAR from easy and have their own difficulties.

However, when a surgical "loser" tries to commiserate in regards to food issues with a non-surgical "loser" the latter is going to be rolling her mental eyes a little bit.

Is it right? Probably not. The differences kind of remind me of the Stay-At-Home Mommy vs. Working Mom issue. Both are ultimately working towards the same goal, but there is a lot of self-righteousness and eye rolling going on in both camps. Of course I believe all sides should put it all aside and just support each other. So why bother with this post? Seeing as it might piss off some people who have had the surgeries?

Because it is a feeling I've noticed pop up in myself a few times now, and the internet has taught me nothing (other than how bad Cat Grammar is) if not that whatever you are feeling/experiencing there are a hell of a lot of other people feeling/experiencing it too. One hopes that by acknowledging said less-than-positive feelings some personal growth will result. One would hope.

Ah, who the hell am I kidding? If this does get read by anyone it'll probably just start a flame war. Whatevs, I got my suit on.